You Love me

You are jealous for me, Your loves like a hurricane, I AM the tree, bending beneath the weight of your wind and mercy. When all of a sudden I am unaware these afflictions eclipsed by your glory, and I realized just how Beautiful you are, and how GREAT your affections are for ME! Oh, How you Love ME so, Oh How you love me, how you love me so. And I am you're portion and you is my prize, drawn to redemption by the Grace in YOURE' eyes, if YOU'RE grace is an ocean, I AM Sinking. HE Loves me.

This is an amazing Song, No matter how many times I sing it, I am always left amazed. It's just one of those songs that hits me. All I did was change the lyrics to fit me personally. I love you Lord :)

Ladies and Gentleman! She has a sense of humor!

So I have been currently working at Fareway for about 4 years now....I really do like my job, I know alot of people hate it, but honestly I love it! I love working with the people that I work with. Each are unique and funny. I couldn't ask for a better place:) except for Jan. Jan is an older woman, probably in her late 50's early 60's. Trying to get this woman to smile is like trying to catch a Panda. It's difficult. Jan does have her good days though. Someday's she says please and thank you! Other day's no. Last week this woman was bothering me. I mean she was just getting under my skin, her whole attitude sucked! She would randomly call me to the front end, move my drawer before even asking me, and then tell me " I'm going to go do my stuff" and she just leaves, not even asking " hey are you doing anything important at the moment?" Most of the time yea I am. hello, I am the only one on the floor that doesn't have a section that I have to attend to, so I have to stock. But on day's she asks I just do it, so that way she can get her stuff done, but now it's really irritating me, not because I mind staying up there, it's again her whole attitude. I try talking to her, and the conversation last literally 2.4 seconds. She gives me these one worded answers then looks at me like I'm an idiot. So this week I have had about enough of her. Then today she changed. This morning started out like usual she ignored me and went on about her business, then we started getting really busy so I was up front for a while. This guy, came through my line, and and these peppers that are small and orange. I had seen them before but I had no idea what they were called! so I was asking people, and noone knew, so I took a leap of faith and asked Jan. She looked at me for a minute and said "orange peppers, I don't know!" and She LAUGHED! She really laughed! I couldn't help it, I laughed with her! Then she started talking to me about her Thanksgiving plans, it was insane! The woman actually held a conversation with me!!! Today turned out not to be to bad, I don't know what Jan's deal is most of the time, but I do know she has had a lot happen to her, I will continue to pray for her, and enjoy the times she is nice :)

Someday

onight I was watching a movie called " The young Victoria" It's about Queen Victoria in the 1800's and how young she was when she became queen and how she met her husband Prince Albert. Albert was from Germany and went to visit Victoria in England before she was queen. After Albert left, he continued to write her letters. They wrote letters back and fourth for 5-6 years. During those years he visited her once. The third time he came, Victoria asked him to stay and marry her. When queen Victoria became queen she was VERY young, so everyone was telling her what to do, and how to do it. But Albert always told her to do what she wanted to do, to stay strong, show them she can do it. That's why Victoria asked him to stay.

I'm not going to lie, I cried during part of this movie. The part that made me cry was when Albert came for the third time, Victoria was waiting for him at the entrance with her ladies-in-waiting, and when he came around the corner, the look on her face..it was like it just hit her she loved him, the man she had been sending letters back and forth to for so many years. And on her wedding day, she was marrying her best friend. Her friend she told everything to, the one who stood by her side from a different country. She married Her best friend, who ended up taking a bullet for her. ( yea I would defiantly recommend watching this movie)

Someday, I want to marry my best friend, I want to have that same look in my eyes when he walks through the door. When I feel most alone, like Victoria did, I want to be able to smile when I think of him. I want to have the same look at 80 years old. :) I want to marry my best friend in the world, because he will be amazing... :-)

Human

There are two songs lately that have hit me hard. Human by Natalie Grant and My own little world By: Matthew West. These two songs have hit me hard because I always felt Like I was supposed to do more then I have. I just don't know where to begin! Sometimes I feel like " How can I change anything, when I'm only me, just one person?" But then I think of all the people in history who wanted to "be the change" and it was only one person. Of course there were also the behind the scenes people too. Like William Wilberforce. William lived in London in the 1700's. In 1780 he was elected in to parliament, And was conflicted with the choice to do what God was clearly calling him to do or to stick with parliament. He ended up doing both. IN fact he started seeing what God wanted him to do saying ""My walk is a public one," he wrote in his diary. "My business is in the world, and I must mix in the assemblies of men or quit the post which Providence seems to have assigned me." In 1791, 1792, 1793, 1797, 1798, 1799, 1804, and 1805- William Wilberforce presented bills to parliament for his cause. He was defeated each year. But William NEVER gave up, he just tried harder. He never let politics, family, or friends get in his way, or let them tell him he couldn't do it. Wilberforce fought for what he believed in. Finally in 1807, after so many years of battling, Parliament gave way and passed the bill. On March 25th 1807 William Wilberforce abolished the slave trade. Sadly Wilberforce, died in 1833, and a month later Parliament passed the " Slavery Abolition Act" Which meant all slaves in the British Empire were free.

Wilberforce, was not alone, there were a lot of the behind the scenes people, Like Thomas Clarke. Wilberforce just took a lot of the brunt, because he was part of Parliament. and there are many people I'm sure that helped Wilberforce.

I don't know what God has in store for me. I don't know what he wants me to do...I'm still waiting, and I will continue to wait, I just pray I can be like William. Brave, and willing to do what it takes, not letting anything stop me.

Father,
Thank you for sending William Wilberforce to free the slaves in British Empire. Thank you for opening his heart to you. Thank you for letting him succeed. Lord, I don't know what your planning, but I am willing..Use me for what you want me to do..I don't want to be in my own little world. I want to see out side of it. Give me YOUR eyes, so I can see everything that I keep missing, give me love for humanity! Give me your arms for the broken hearted ones that are far beyond my reach, give me YOUR heart for the ones forgotten! My own little world is not about me. I love you!

What If?

It's 3 a.m., I am having the hardest time sleeping.....so much on my mind, and just ahh! Tonight I watched a movie called "Pay it forward" It talks about a kid who helps 3 people, who in return help three more people, so on so forth.

What if our world was like that? What if one person takes the step of faith and helps three people? Would they in return help 3 more people? Think about it..You help 3 people, they each help 3 people and it keeps going. Pretty neat idea! Where in History did we stop helping each other? When did we start thinking that child trafficking was OK? Why is it, when we see a woman with her car hood open, and no one stops to ask if everything is OK? When did we get to the point that we are to afraid to stop/ or receive help because we don't know the person, and we watch the news..We know what happens. When did we get to the point that we tell people it's OK to give up on our generation? Seriously! I had a lady tell me that! This woman, her daughter, and and her little brother ( so I thought) came in to the store, The girl had to be about 14/15. I looked at her, then what I thought was her little brother, and said " Little brother?" the girl looked at me and smiled and said " No He's my nephew." The mother said " Oh I bet she was happy to hear that! Most people think it's her son!" I said " oh, well I didn't think that..I try to have more faith in our generation." The woman looked at me and said " Well don't. this is her sisters baby and shes pregnant with another one" It crushed me....

What if our world had a little more faith in this generation? How would it change things? Why is it so hard for people to be kind, or to love someone? Why do we have to have our own groups, and leave others out? My favorite quote from Natalie Grant: "We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One chance to make a difference
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One life that we've been given
A little love, a little kindness
A little light in this time of darkness
It'll be what makes us different
It'll be what makes us human
I'm human, you're human, we are human "

It just takes one person to be different, to step out of their daily routine, To help one person. Could you imagine what our world would look like?

I personally am going to try this "pay it forward deal" If this is a step to changing the world, then I'm going to do it.

I've got to do better then this,cause I've only got one chance, to make a difference I've gotta do better then this because I'm only just one.

My Prayer

Lord, I don't know what your planning, but I am willing..Use me for what you want me to do..I don't want to be in my own little world. I want to see out side of it. Give me YOUR eyes, so I can see everything that I keep missing, give me love for humanity! Give me your arms for the broken hearted ones that are far beyond my reach, give me YOUR heart for the ones forgotten! My own little world is not about me. I love you!

I'm not sure what He's planning, but I don't want to be blind to it.

Be the Change you wish to see in the world- Gandhi

Well I want to be the change..God, Show me...Use me.

It's been a year...or 2 :)

OK! It has literally been forever since I have been on this blog! I totally forgot the password! But all is good and I will try to update more often! So here is an overview past two years!

-I graduated may 15th
-I got accepted to Crown College
-I started Community college because I couldn't afford Crown this year
-I am no longer part of the worship Team
-I help with JUMP music for the kids
-I would like to start going to Omaha for church, so that way I have people my own age
-I still work at Fareway
-My dad had a major heartattack--He's ok
-My brother is going in to the Marines
-I have 2 of the greatest friends in the world and I wouldn't trade them for anything!
-I am starting to get comfortable with myself
-I am learning to by myself
-I went to LIFE 2010--last thing I ever did as part of the youth group, it was worth it.
-I change my major from Music Education to Children's Ministry with a minor in History--I want to teach someday
-Miles left for the Marines--was deeply sadden to say good-bye to my best friend--We keep in touch :)
-I still take voice lessons and piano lessons from Mr. Marsden
-I bought a green 2001 Ford Focus from Nathan and Jodi Johnson ( I LOVE IT)
-I went to Colorado with the Whites and had a blast!
-Found a new Dentist--He's epic
-Fell in Love with the Chronicles of Narnia movies
-Fell in love with soundtracks :)
- Got an Epic Purity ring that says " I am my beloveds and my Beloved is mine" In Hebrew
-Got a lap top for Christmas!
-lost some friends this year--OK with that because it honestly showed their true colors
-Trying to listen to God more
-Got a new Bible!
-Callie Lou died
-Got my grandparents a new cat named Maisey--Terrorist.
-Still plan on taking over the world :)