About Me

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I'm 19 year's old. I am attending Community College for 2 years then I will transfer to Crown College for Children's Ministry with a minor in History. I love music, I love teach music to JUMP kids :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Be Yourself....judge Everyone Else?

Be Yourself....Judge Everyone Else?
So this summer I went to LIFE 2010, a huge youth conference for our church denomination the CM&A ( Christian Missionary Alliance.)It was in Louisville Kentucky this year. I went three years ago to the on in Orlando Florida. Yea LIFE, If you haven't gone I recommend going next time! But anywho back to the post.

This year a young man named Bradley Hathaway was there. I had saw him three years ago. I got to admit when I saw him last time, he didn't look good. Infact he almost looked anorexic. If you don't know who Mr. Hathaway is, he is a poet who loves God. Lately he's been in the music area. He's pretty cool. So this year he was there yet again, and this time he looked really good. Infact I thought he was kindof cute :)! He's only 28 theres only a 9 year age difference haha! But seriously, he said he had started to work out a little bit, and you could tell. So this yea I decided to go to his seminar. It was called "Be Yourself." Which I thought was perfect, because sometimes I can struggle in that area. I went with my friend Brad ( Ironic, I know) and the room was PACKED! I we sat in the front on the floor because there were no chairs left. In fact Bradley had to tell them to close the doors since there was literally no room. Bradley did some of his poetry, and talked about being yourself ( Obviously.) when we were done with the seminar I was just amazed! this man was so amazing! Hes not scared to be himself. After the seminar, my friends and I were talking about him. and I was just shocked at what they were saying about him. They said that he acts a little gay, hes weird, hes not that good, so on so forth. I couldn't believe it. I was angry. Not because I thought he was "cute" but just because Bradley Hathaway doesn't meet the "worlds" standards. Mr. Hathaway really gets into his poetry which is awesome. It's how he expresses himself. He, like David, is Undignified, and It seemed no matter how much I told my friend's that they didn't get it. In fact they kind of laughed at. Mr. Hathaway doesn't care about what people think, He lives his life for God, and God only. It makes me mad, that my friends, and I'm sure other people, The "Christians" Were making fun of a man, who loves God and is just being himself. Who are they to Judge? So Should I not be myself, for fear I would be made fun of by " Christians?" my Brothers and sisters? Christ says we are brothers and sisters. Doesn't that mean Mr. Hathaway is our brother? Should we really be making fun of him? Seriously? Just because God gave him a gift, and he loves doing what he does. What I love the most about Bradley Hathaway is that he broke away from what everyone else does. Yes his poetry is different, and yes he may get really into it on stage, but you know what he has? Passion. Thats all it is. Like I said He loves what he does. I strive to be like him. Not with poetry but my life. He doesn't care what the "world" thinks. The fact that he can stand on stage in front of 7,000 people, and act the way he does, and I can barely move while I stand on stage in front of my youth group of about 60 people, thats awesome!

But Bradley Hathaway is most likely not the only person that is judged by "Christians" for being different. So remember before you Judge someone for being different,they are probably being UNDIGNIFIED for God. Like David said to his wife while dancing in the streets " I will become even more undignified then this."


" Being Yourself isn't about being Unique. It's about being Sincere,"
- Quoted by Bradley Hathaway

Cliques and other randomness...

I think the title says it all...I HATE when everyone says High school is soooo cliquey. umm hello? Have you been out in the world? They are everywhere. They are even in Church! Church....The one place that is supposed to feel safe, and you're supposed to just be your self. Church is just as cliquey as the high school is... you can never escape them. You know things are bad, when you walk down a hall way, and some youth leaders won't even acknowledge your presence. hmm? SO tell me do we only invest in the "good kids"? What about those kids that well, aren't well behaved? or those who have graduated? Why do we just walk around and ignore people? Aren't we supposed to be the body of Christ? Why do we worry about a teenager who regularly attends Sunday School or youth group, But they miss one day, rather then worry about those teenagers who once attended Sunday School and youth group, but no longer go. Because I can name some of them. And I know Exactly why they don't go. And I really don't blame them. I think there is nothing wrong with investing in teens that have a walk with God, because they still need accountability. But what about those teens that don't? Don't pick your favorite and decide to only invest in them. What's up with that?

It took me along time to realize all of that. I was part of the "group".I know there were new kids that came to youth group, and that I said hello to, and I probably cannot tell you what their name is. I have had teens add me to facebook, and I have to ask them how do I know you? and they respond we met at youth group. Then I had to make up some lame excuse. And I wish I could go and apologize to those people, but I can't. To late now. That is the one thing I regret from High school. Because I was a " Leader" in youth group( because I was on the worship team) I lost sight of who I was. And I did the thing that I hate most.
Since I have graduated, I now understand how Miles felt at times. Church..the one place that always felt like home, doesn't anymore. I didn't think that after you graduated, you had to automatically become an adult. I don't have a Sunday school, and I have no where to go on a Wednesday night. I chose to help with the little kids because I don't want to go to the Adult Sunday School. And I chose to help with JUMP because I don't want to sit at home on a Wednesday night, and because I'm still growing in my faith..and if that means I have to go to a children's ministry on a Wednesday night, to hear more about God, then I'm going to do it..But Most of all, I love kids :) I love seeing their faces and helping them grow in their faith. I just wish there was more for me.

I was going to leave my church, and go to a church in Omaha. Which sucked, because I enjoy going to church with my mom. And the gas prices. The only reason I am now staying is because, PB asked me to do the Large group time with the little kids in Sunday School. I am totally Stoked for it. These Kids and I are going to have a blast.
Over that past few months I have learned a lot. When I become a children's pastor, I will invest in every kid that walks through that door. Even after they graduate. I don't want kids to ever think that I don't have time for them, or because they are graduated they are not important anymore. I will make a difference one way or another because I am determined to do so.
Unified diversity
Functioning as one body
Every part encouraged by the other
No one independent of another
You're irreplaceable, indispensable
You're incredible

Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride

Sunday, February 27, 2011

You Love me

You are jealous for me, Your loves like a hurricane, I AM the tree, bending beneath the weight of your wind and mercy. When all of a sudden I am unaware these afflictions eclipsed by your glory, and I realized just how Beautiful you are, and how GREAT your affections are for ME! Oh, How you Love ME so, Oh How you love me, how you love me so. And I am you're portion and you is my prize, drawn to redemption by the Grace in YOURE' eyes, if YOU'RE grace is an ocean, I AM Sinking. HE Loves me.

This is an amazing Song, No matter how many times I sing it, I am always left amazed. It's just one of those songs that hits me. All I did was change the lyrics to fit me personally. I love you Lord :)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Ladies and Gentleman! She has a sense of humor!

So I have been currently working at Fareway for about 4 years now....I really do like my job, I know alot of people hate it, but honestly I love it! I love working with the people that I work with. Each are unique and funny. I couldn't ask for a better place:) except for Jan. Jan is an older woman, probably in her late 50's early 60's. Trying to get this woman to smile is like trying to catch a Panda. It's difficult. Jan does have her good days though. Someday's she says please and thank you! Other day's no. Last week this woman was bothering me. I mean she was just getting under my skin, her whole attitude sucked! She would randomly call me to the front end, move my drawer before even asking me, and then tell me " I'm going to go do my stuff" and she just leaves, not even asking " hey are you doing anything important at the moment?" Most of the time yea I am. hello, I am the only one on the floor that doesn't have a section that I have to attend to, so I have to stock. But on day's she asks I just do it, so that way she can get her stuff done, but now it's really irritating me, not because I mind staying up there, it's again her whole attitude. I try talking to her, and the conversation last literally 2.4 seconds. She gives me these one worded answers then looks at me like I'm an idiot. So this week I have had about enough of her. Then today she changed. This morning started out like usual she ignored me and went on about her business, then we started getting really busy so I was up front for a while. This guy, came through my line, and and these peppers that are small and orange. I had seen them before but I had no idea what they were called! so I was asking people, and noone knew, so I took a leap of faith and asked Jan. She looked at me for a minute and said "orange peppers, I don't know!" and She LAUGHED! She really laughed! I couldn't help it, I laughed with her! Then she started talking to me about her Thanksgiving plans, it was insane! The woman actually held a conversation with me!!! Today turned out not to be to bad, I don't know what Jan's deal is most of the time, but I do know she has had a lot happen to her, I will continue to pray for her, and enjoy the times she is nice :)


onight I was watching a movie called " The young Victoria" It's about Queen Victoria in the 1800's and how young she was when she became queen and how she met her husband Prince Albert. Albert was from Germany and went to visit Victoria in England before she was queen. After Albert left, he continued to write her letters. They wrote letters back and fourth for 5-6 years. During those years he visited her once. The third time he came, Victoria asked him to stay and marry her. When queen Victoria became queen she was VERY young, so everyone was telling her what to do, and how to do it. But Albert always told her to do what she wanted to do, to stay strong, show them she can do it. That's why Victoria asked him to stay.

I'm not going to lie, I cried during part of this movie. The part that made me cry was when Albert came for the third time, Victoria was waiting for him at the entrance with her ladies-in-waiting, and when he came around the corner, the look on her face..it was like it just hit her she loved him, the man she had been sending letters back and forth to for so many years. And on her wedding day, she was marrying her best friend. Her friend she told everything to, the one who stood by her side from a different country. She married Her best friend, who ended up taking a bullet for her. ( yea I would defiantly recommend watching this movie)

Someday, I want to marry my best friend, I want to have that same look in my eyes when he walks through the door. When I feel most alone, like Victoria did, I want to be able to smile when I think of him. I want to have the same look at 80 years old. :) I want to marry my best friend in the world, because he will be amazing... :-)


There are two songs lately that have hit me hard. Human by Natalie Grant and My own little world By: Matthew West. These two songs have hit me hard because I always felt Like I was supposed to do more then I have. I just don't know where to begin! Sometimes I feel like " How can I change anything, when I'm only me, just one person?" But then I think of all the people in history who wanted to "be the change" and it was only one person. Of course there were also the behind the scenes people too. Like William Wilberforce. William lived in London in the 1700's. In 1780 he was elected in to parliament, And was conflicted with the choice to do what God was clearly calling him to do or to stick with parliament. He ended up doing both. IN fact he started seeing what God wanted him to do saying ""My walk is a public one," he wrote in his diary. "My business is in the world, and I must mix in the assemblies of men or quit the post which Providence seems to have assigned me." In 1791, 1792, 1793, 1797, 1798, 1799, 1804, and 1805- William Wilberforce presented bills to parliament for his cause. He was defeated each year. But William NEVER gave up, he just tried harder. He never let politics, family, or friends get in his way, or let them tell him he couldn't do it. Wilberforce fought for what he believed in. Finally in 1807, after so many years of battling, Parliament gave way and passed the bill. On March 25th 1807 William Wilberforce abolished the slave trade. Sadly Wilberforce, died in 1833, and a month later Parliament passed the " Slavery Abolition Act" Which meant all slaves in the British Empire were free.

Wilberforce, was not alone, there were a lot of the behind the scenes people, Like Thomas Clarke. Wilberforce just took a lot of the brunt, because he was part of Parliament. and there are many people I'm sure that helped Wilberforce.

I don't know what God has in store for me. I don't know what he wants me to do...I'm still waiting, and I will continue to wait, I just pray I can be like William. Brave, and willing to do what it takes, not letting anything stop me.

Thank you for sending William Wilberforce to free the slaves in British Empire. Thank you for opening his heart to you. Thank you for letting him succeed. Lord, I don't know what your planning, but I am willing..Use me for what you want me to do..I don't want to be in my own little world. I want to see out side of it. Give me YOUR eyes, so I can see everything that I keep missing, give me love for humanity! Give me your arms for the broken hearted ones that are far beyond my reach, give me YOUR heart for the ones forgotten! My own little world is not about me. I love you!

What If?

It's 3 a.m., I am having the hardest time sleeping.....so much on my mind, and just ahh! Tonight I watched a movie called "Pay it forward" It talks about a kid who helps 3 people, who in return help three more people, so on so forth.

What if our world was like that? What if one person takes the step of faith and helps three people? Would they in return help 3 more people? Think about it..You help 3 people, they each help 3 people and it keeps going. Pretty neat idea! Where in History did we stop helping each other? When did we start thinking that child trafficking was OK? Why is it, when we see a woman with her car hood open, and no one stops to ask if everything is OK? When did we get to the point that we are to afraid to stop/ or receive help because we don't know the person, and we watch the news..We know what happens. When did we get to the point that we tell people it's OK to give up on our generation? Seriously! I had a lady tell me that! This woman, her daughter, and and her little brother ( so I thought) came in to the store, The girl had to be about 14/15. I looked at her, then what I thought was her little brother, and said " Little brother?" the girl looked at me and smiled and said " No He's my nephew." The mother said " Oh I bet she was happy to hear that! Most people think it's her son!" I said " oh, well I didn't think that..I try to have more faith in our generation." The woman looked at me and said " Well don't. this is her sisters baby and shes pregnant with another one" It crushed me....

What if our world had a little more faith in this generation? How would it change things? Why is it so hard for people to be kind, or to love someone? Why do we have to have our own groups, and leave others out? My favorite quote from Natalie Grant: "We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One chance to make a difference
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One life that we've been given
A little love, a little kindness
A little light in this time of darkness
It'll be what makes us different
It'll be what makes us human
I'm human, you're human, we are human "

It just takes one person to be different, to step out of their daily routine, To help one person. Could you imagine what our world would look like?

I personally am going to try this "pay it forward deal" If this is a step to changing the world, then I'm going to do it.

I've got to do better then this,cause I've only got one chance, to make a difference I've gotta do better then this because I'm only just one.